Gypsy road survival guide

We are finally back from our crazy gypsy adventure.. first traveling to one of my favorite towns, Aiken so both Don and Hewie could run the AI. Don was 3rd and Hewie 5th, both getting really prepared for Richland. They did not dissapoint me, Don finished a solid 10th in the tough CIC3* and Hewie completely took my breath away by being awesome in all 3 phases, despite me going irritatingly slow on XC. I have produced Hewie from a know-nothing baby, and for some reason, when you are leaving the start box heading towards blue flags all you can remember are the times when they didn't jump so well! It makes you not want to run so fast at stuff! Next time I will trust Screwy Hewie a bit more and hope for a better placing in the end, I am thrilled with him nonetheless.

I dragged my working student Alex along with me for the ride, and she learned just what gypsy life was all about. She took to it like a duck to water. For those who are just beginning their foray into gypsy horseshow life, I'd like to give you a few tips on how to ease the journey and keep your self occupied on the 20+ hour drives around the country.

1. Keep "fuel in the tank" and drink lots of caffeine.

Caffeine shakes and muffin top be damned, you definitely need that starbucks and breakfast burrito

2. Trash talking

Trash talking is a great way to pass the time early on in the trip. It not only gets your angry blood flowing, it keeps your mind nimble as you come up with better and more insulting insults. Trash talk other drivers, billboards, buildings, and eachother.

3. Take pictures of ridiculous road signs

   

 

 

 

What else do you have to do?

 





 Oh yea, take pictures of eachother if you're dumb enough to fall asleep.

4. Make the best of a bad situation

Oh jeez! You blew a tire? On the side of a mountain? And your spare has a big gash in it? And the highway patrol officer told you it's unlikley you'll be abducted?

  

Side of the highway balance beam Olympics, naturally. Highway Patrol gave us 10s on dismounts. Big shout out to US Rider who sent Angry Santa out to help us!  You guys are for real the best!

 

5. Make fun of cars

 

Now we're 13 hours into the trip and we're getting a bit tired. We're in the corn field lands of Ohio or Nebraska or Narnia wherever it is that we are. Really the only thing to look at is other cars, so obviously we make fun of them and try to guess what they resemble. These are our favorites

 

Ant. Congrats to Alex on the impressive and surprising use of "thorax" to describe this car

 

Big toe. Easy.


Duck

Foot

 

Club foot

 

 

 

 

 







Gorilla



Shoe






Thumb

 

Anything resembling this is what we refer to as a "geloppi"

 

 

 

6. Secret weapon.

 

You have now been driving 20 hours, it's 4AM, there is nothing to look at and no other cars on the road to make fun of. You have the caffeine shakes and you are completely delirious. Shadows become deer jumping out in front of you. Not even a stop at the Ag station energizes you. This is our secret weapon, it is only to be played through the truck speakers on high volume. It won't work if you just play it on your phone. And if you have dogs in the truck, you're in for a treat. It will buy you at least 30 minutes, 1-2 hours if you try your best impressions as it is playing. This will get you through the final push, I promise.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1qGXvTVr6M

 

 

 

 

Until the next gypsy adventure!!!

 

K