I dragged my working student Alex along with me for the ride, and she learned just what gypsy life was all about. She took to it like a duck to water. For those who are just beginning their foray into gypsy horseshow life, I'd like to give you a few tips on how to ease the journey and keep your self occupied on the 20+ hour drives around the country.
1. Keep "fuel in the tank" and drink lots of caffeine.
Caffeine shakes and muffin top be damned, you definitely need that starbucks and breakfast burrito
2. Trash talking
Trash talking is a great way to pass the time early on in the trip. It not only gets your angry blood flowing, it keeps your mind nimble as you come up with better and more insulting insults. Trash talk other drivers, billboards, buildings, and eachother.
3. Take pictures of ridiculous road signs
What else do you have to do?
Oh yea, take pictures of eachother if you're dumb enough to fall asleep. 4. Make the best of a bad situation
Oh jeez! You blew a tire? On the side of a mountain? And your spare has a big gash in it? And the highway patrol officer told you it's unlikley you'll be abducted?
Side of the highway balance beam Olympics, naturally. Highway Patrol gave us 10s on dismounts. Big shout out to US Rider who sent Angry Santa out to help us! You guys are for real the best!
5. Make fun of cars
Now we're 13 hours into the trip and we're getting a bit tired. We're in the corn field lands of Ohio or Nebraska or Narnia wherever it is that we are. Really the only thing to look at is other cars, so obviously we make fun of them and try to guess what they resemble. These are our favorites
Ant. Congrats to Alex on the impressive and surprising use of "thorax" to describe this car
Big toe. Easy.
Duck
Foot
Club foot
Gorilla
Shoe
Thumb
Anything resembling this is what we refer to as a "geloppi"
6. Secret weapon.
You have now been driving 20 hours, it's 4AM, there is nothing to look at and no other cars on the road to make fun of. You have the caffeine shakes and you are completely delirious. Shadows become deer jumping out in front of you. Not even a stop at the Ag station energizes you. This is our secret weapon, it is only to be played through the truck speakers on high volume. It won't work if you just play it on your phone. And if you have dogs in the truck, you're in for a treat. It will buy you at least 30 minutes, 1-2 hours if you try your best impressions as it is playing. This will get you through the final push, I promise.
Until the next gypsy adventure!!!
K
