Allow me to stray from my typical training updates and write about something that has been on my mind.
Oh, and Happy 4th! Enjoy some beer and fireworks (but not near the barn!)
Since Bromont and moving to Florida I’ve been on a little bit of a “Summer Break”, I’ve had some extra time to do some reading, writing, and generally just time to pay attention to what’s going on in the world.
I’m disappointed in the youth of eventing at the moment. This all started at Bromont, where two young ladies were stabled in the same aisle as us. My student Natalia, my great friend Christy, and my mother all came to support me that week. 1 horse is not enough work for 4 people, so when we weren’t taking care of Hewie, we were adding to the team effort. Our neighbor across the aisle had 4 horses for 2 people so of course we spent a good deal of time helping them braid, take care of horses in the vet box, schlep things back and forth from the barn, etc. Nothing extraordinary but simply things that needing doing. Natalia was also sweet enough to help Emma, Phillip’s groom, on cross country day when everything was crazy. And of course, there is ALWAYS something to do at Team BDJ!
In our particular aisle, there was a young girl. A young girl whose horse blankets were the same color as Phillip’s. A young girl who was certain Natalia had stolen her cooler and spoke to her in such derogatory manner you’d think she was a sailor. Until she saw Big Phil’s name embroidered on the rug. Oops. Same young girl, hours later, severely disrespecting her mother (whom I am certain writes the checks) in the middle of the aisle in front of her grooms, coach, peers. How and when did this become acceptable behavior at a horse show?
Same horse show, different young girl. She was being paid to groom for a young rider. At several points throughout the weekend, she had been asked to do a task by her rider, to which she replied, “No”. Knowing the wonderful family of this young rider well I am sure the groom was paid up front and her every need was attended to without question. The girl, who was currently at one of the best competitions in North America, refused to attempt to learn something by doing work and then complained about wanting to reach to Advanced level. And no, I’m sorry, playing games on your phone for the majority of the day will not help you reach that goal.
If you’re a young rider sitting there thinking, Gosh, I have the talent, if I had those opportunities I would never muck it up like those girls did. I’m really hoping that I would agree with you, but sadly, I have seen many BN/N kids starting out that display the same terrible work ethic and “poor me” attitude. My attention was drawn to a post on the Chronicle (Yes, I do admit I read the Chronicle sometimes, ever since my 12 page train wreck meltdown thread). This post was by a young girl who was venting about not having opportunities, about being better than her peers, about how she should be able to compete more than she is. Venting is OK and I certainly understand the sentiment, but venting is annoying and pointless behavior unless you use it to help you find a better solution. There is a sense of entitlement and a “things should be easy” attitude with some of these young riders, and I know more than most, because often my working students walk through the doors with that chip on their shoulders. Some of these working students don’t make it past their first month, because I am simply unwilling to accommodate that attitude. The good ones buck up and make every day a learning opportunity, and those working students I often have gone way above and beyond for.
Here is a memo to you young riders out there from someone who isn’t armchair quarterbacking. In this sport you never reach the top and think Yes, I’ve done it. I feel like some of you think that once you reach the Advanced level it is all sunshine, rainbows and smooth sailing. In reality, this is where the true hardship begins. I own two upper level horses, one that I have produced myself from day 1 and one that had been produced to the Intermediate level. I am clearly more fortunate than most to have access to such fabulous partners, but it hasn’t been without struggle. It is all on me to keep them fed, keep shoes on their feet and a roof over their head. It is on me to provide myself with the best coaching and lessons that I can afford. After all that is said and done, yes, sometimes there isn’t money leftover to compete them or do all the things I want to do. I had a conversation this winter with Sharon White, when I was down south for the winter training with Donald and Hewie and wasn’t able to be in Maryland working. I was struggling so badly to keep the farm in Maryland going and also stay on track with my competition schedule. I remember asking her with tears in my eyes, how do you do this? You seem like you have it together, what’s your secret? All she said to me was, “You are doing it”. That’s when I realized it will never get any easier, so I better decide if this is something I want. It is.
My point and the bottom line for me is, how badly do you want it?
Badly enough to move 800 miles away from all your friends and family to be a working student? Badly enough to wake up at 3am on a daily basis to gallop racehorses for extra cash to compete? Badly enough to move 900 miles again to be closer to more training opportunities? Badly enough to keep going after being completely humiliated and heartbroken at one of the biggest events in the world? Badly enough to prove every person who ever called you lazy, untalented, stupid, or just plain not good enough, wrong?
I hope every young rider takes a good, hard look in the mirror and asks themselves;
How badly do you want it?
